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Posted by Bonnie CO (97.121.203.20) on 21:32:49 06/26/14
Having been to Yellowstone hundreds of times since I was 4, and living there most summers until I was 20, I've done a lot of research and learned a lot about the GYE. I'm sure I've forgotten more than many people will ever care to know. I have ASTOUNDING news however. It has come to my attention that Yellowstone has thousands, maybe millions of Muggles visiting there. Now some of you might use the term touron, instead of Muggle, but for me Muggle fits anyone who doesn't see the magic in nature and has no affinity for it. (It begs the question, why the hell do they come here of course) Here is what I have added to my comprehensive compendium of knowledge:
1. Muggles don't care about baby bears and may try to kill them. You see the speed limit doesn't really apply to a Muggle; speed limits are their choice, whether that be 10 miles an hour over Dunraven or 75 miles per hour through a Tower bear jam. One of Rosie 5.0's cubs was hit by a car the other night and it wasn't until last night we knew that somehow the little guy made it. I watched them today, and all three cubs are doing fine. They have moved to a better, and hopefully safer area.
2. Muggle children - well what can I say. One always hopes that a Muggle will grow out of their stupidity, but alas....sorry little Johnny but that beaver you are throwing rocks at doesn't have an opposable thumb so it can't play catch with you and throw that rock back. Since you probably already know that, throwing rocks at a beaver just means you are a mean little bastard.
3. Muggle Chang - there are two people tonight wondering how on earth they got purple stains on the back of their shirts. I saw you, you sneaky devil smear your Huckleberry ice cream cone on someone's back at the checkout line at Canyon, and when you saw what you had done, sidle over to the other line where you did the same damn thing. Wow buddy, that ice cream goes in your piehole not on someone else's back.
4. Hey Ma Muggle - screaming at a black bear and her cubs to look up at you probably isn't going to work. You might not know this, having very little brains, but bears don't speak English, and the noise is probably just pissing mom off. Heaven know it pissed me off enough.
5. Hey Mr. Exec. When you are driving down the mean streets of Chicago, do you suddenly stop in the middle of the road and leave your car; especially with all 4 doors open and no one in the car. I know you are special, but you really are a pain in the ass.
6. Hey Mrs. Chan - when you're in a bison jam, I really don't recommend trying to peel some of that loose pelt off. Now try to explain that dent in your car to the rental agency!
I now understand why Voldemort hated Muggles.
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