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Posted by Buck (207.231.89.236) on 12:41:10 12/11/22
In Reply to: Speaking of bathrooms... posted by Bubba Mediocrates
I hate to admit it, but I used to suffer from postpoodum depression. These days I celebrate the process unleashing the Kraken.
My #1 least favorite bathroom experiences involve peeing in a urinal that goes down to the floor while wearing shorts and flip flops. The inevitable richo-spray splashback is undesirable. I hate waiting in line for the air dryer and then having to lift my leg up to dry it off.
My #2 least favorite bathroom experiences is anywhere not home. I like to drop the kids off at my own pool.
I'm one of those guys who's not afraid to pee anywhere 'reasonably hidden' (subjective term) or with the door open to block me on the side of the road. Or in the moving car after telling my wife to close her eyes and ears. I used to be able to jump out and pee real quick, like a special forces unit, but now I have to plan on standing there for 2 1/2 minutes, so the road may look clear for miles but by the time I'm halfway done there's a half dozen cars lined up driving by. So I look like I'm looking for something in the car while carefully focusing on my aim.
True story. One time I was on a winter (mid Nov) climb with two REI co-workers climbing the mountaineers route on Mt. Whitney. We were camped at Upper Boy Scout Lake. We had already done some gnarly ridges and it was beyond freezing and icy. The lake was frozen solid. On our last night it was blustery and snowy, visibility was like 10 ft and it was really cool. I had to pee in the middle of the night, we were all sharing the same tent. I scootched into the vestibule and peed in my empty Nalgene bottle. I left the Nalgene in the vestibule. Somehow I forgot it, or one of the guys thought it was his, but a couple weeks later he brought my unopened Nalgene of pee and gave it to me. I was a little dehydrated when I peed so it was orangey. He said, "here's your Nalgene with your Tang still in it". I didn't tell him. It feels weird carrying a bottle of pee, knowing the weight is urine is not ideal.
Anyway, another bad #2 experience is sitting on a warm toilet seat because someone else was just on it. That's not a comforting warmth.
Best places to lay #2 pipe is backpacking and you find an amazing view looking over the lake or canyon. Minus the mosquitoes searching for virgin territory.
Weirdest #2 story involved monkeys throwing deuces at us at the zoo, they could've been MLB pitchers, they had great arms.
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